Running to Think

Hello folks!
Yes indeed. I'm back. It has been long, it has been painful, discouraging, depressive. It basically tore me down. Two months of no activity (almost), dealing with a patellar tendon that really didn't want to be fixed, are not a joke.
I am not in the mood to shout out loud how I dealt with it. Read some of my recent posts and you will certainly find out. What else? Well, let me give you some numbers: 33, 44, 55, 66, 77. These are the kilometers that I covered every week, in the last 5 weeks. As every physiotherapist would advice "get back to the road, but do it sloooowly". I added some spicy intervals to my schedule only recently. The rest is happening on the trail, as usual.
So far so good.
Rehab is almost finished, even though it's always good to make some recalls once in a while in order to test the strength of those little tendons around the knees that seem to be so innocent but they are actually fundamental during the landing phase. And you know how important is landing well on the trail. Don't you?

Wish me luck!
Run happy ;)

What's the news? I could finish with no pain and no bad feelings about my knee whatsoever.
Then building up some mileage again and hopefully go back to the trail.

The last two weeks have been dedicated to fixing and recovering something that had all the characteristics to be a really bad injury. Without surprise I didn't feel psychologically down or, as many prefer to say, depressed, due to the fact that I couldn't run. I really didn't freak out this time. I rested. I ate more than I am supposed to and I had a great time. I also focussed more on my work at university. I can say that I enjoyed it so much. It was actually divine.
Not that I want to experience it again, of course. An injury is always an injury, after all.
The supervision of my physiotherapist had many invaluable benefits; it not only allowed me to recover in a very short time with respect to the other injuries I got in the past, but it also taught me some lessons I will hardly forget.
Every injury has its own story, and every injury teaches me something I will treasure for myself and my fellow runners.
Stressing the posterior tibial tendon should not be an easy task for an advanced runner. Fixing it and persuading a patient to go back on the road in less than 10 days is everything but easier for a physiotherapist. Injured runners usually want to go back on the road as soon as they can. Sometimes much sooner. Coming from an experience that forced me to stay at home for 6 months, I decided not to take the risk and throw my entire faith in Kathelijn, my physiotherapist. I don't know what will happen in the near future but I have the impression that she was right on many aspects.
I'll keep writing in first person here, even though I am sure that many runners will recognise themselves in my words.

I'm gonna skip week 02, for the reasons I explained in a previous post. I deliberately planned for a break between two intense training blocks. Anyway my body anticipated me with a stressed posterior tibial tendon that needed to be fixed any time soon.
Week 02 has been dedicated to resting, specifically active resting which consisted of a bit of cycling at the gym and loads of repetitions of the exercise you can see in the picture above.
According to my physiotherapist, I could have started running again on monday of week 03, after 7 days of no running. That's exactly what I did.

13/01/2014
20' run and the usual exercises. I headed to the gym a number of times to strengthen some muscular groups that needed some intervention, such as hamstrings and shoulders, upper back and abs. Running, running, running is not exactly what every runner should do. Sometimes we have to plan some workout sessions at the gym or, if you feel more like Rocky Balboa at the steps of a stadium in the suburbs of your city ;)

14/01/2014
30' trail in Sart Tilman in Liege, wearing trail running shoes. This session was characterised by the usual amount of hills and irregular terrain which made it a tough and quite stiff experience. At some point I was scared that the tendon would have collapsed again. I was really waiting for the running session to finish as soon as possible. Not fun, at all.

15/01/2014
Of course my physiotherapist kicked in, discouraging me from running on irregular terrain for at least one more week. She was quite diplomatic by avoiding the more appropriate "you are an idiot" conclusion.
I proceeded as requested by wearing softer road running shoes for about 40', finishing on the track and field. I still felt a bit of stiffness in both the ankles and mainly on the injured tendon. Way less than the day before, though.

16/01/2014
52' easy run with no pain whatsoever and much less stiffness. I felt like I could have been running for 3 hours more, which I didn't do. This time, I would have really deserved to be called an idiot.

17/01/2014
again 50' easy run in the city of Bruxelles. Sore calves and both tibial tendons quite tired are probably the result of a week of training and exercising. I better close week 2 here, with a saturday of rest.

18/01/2014
Rest


I wish I could say "the gipsy is back". But I still don't feel that comfortable.
Yet.

The week that follows an injury does not belong to the category of memorable days. I usually start eating, I feel a bit depressed, my day suddenly becomes longer than a year and I start liking people less. In return they seem to like me less too.
This is the moment when I start talking to very few and close friends about my mood and the status that affects my personality from the minute I wake up to the second I fell asleep again. I am aware of how annoying that can be.
Caroline is getting familiar with this other part of me, which is probably less fun to deal with. But I think she's doing great, her stuff being still at home.
Some days ago I talked to my fellow friend Sajjad, who shared a number of running experiences with me and being a runner as well knows exactly what I am talking about.
My question was very simple: how do you overcome the depression from not being able to run? His answer was brutally simple and it opened a new way of thinking about those periods of injury.
He said that the first three days are really annoying. But then it becomes slightly easier because I should start focusing on other types of work I have. Which is a good thing anyway.
"It's a reminder of how we always need change" he added.
"When I get injured and I have to stay at home, I am reminded of my vulnerability. You appreciate running much more when you start again".
I never read something more true.
Feeling down, experiencing a knockout and touching the ground with your face, if you know what I mean, is exactly why people need to stand up and keep moving.
Yearning for the motivation to motivate.
Indeed I was focusing on other things last week, such as a new book I bought, some academic papers in my reading queue for a long time. I even spent much more time in the kitchen, not just eating, but experiencing new recipes and experimenting with food.
With great results too. Caroline ate my food and was never hospitalised for food poisoning. That's great to start with :)
If it’s true that the seventh day God rested from all His work, then I’m clearly not a god.
Last week I felt busier than the days when I covered three-digit distances. On the other hand, my injury seems to improve everyday and my recovery phase being shortened with the help of a physiotherapist at the Sport Medical Advice Centre of the University of Leuven. We're working on strengthening the posterior tibial tendons and ankles with specific exercises and they're observing my running posture in search of some imperfection that might be lethal on the long distance of +50 km. Carefully inspecting images and videos of me running on a treadmill or during some drills on the track and field is quite a daily task.
My physiotherapist advised me to go back to run again after a week of therapy and exercises, completing up to 70% of my running schedule. Even in the presence of a small pain or stiffness I have been advised to continue, unless the pain doesn't go and it actually becomes more consistent. That's right! It's even better than any song in my mp3 player, and honestly I couldn't disagree with the medical prognosis for several reasons. One of which is that my physiotherapist is a runner herself.
Back to my state of depression (which by the way sounds worse that it really is), a good coincidence is that I got injured exactly at the beginning of my resting period. This means that I would have rested anyway, regardless of the injury. Hence the status of depression has been on a steady decline, with respect to the one I had right before running a marathon a few years ago.
I always have in mind quotes that try to motivate me even when I am sleeping and I remember of that anonymous genius who wrote "you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have". Well, I should let him know of another nice fact I will summarise in "you never become stronger if you never choose to give your body some rest".
Which is exactly what I've been choosing for.
Run happy!